Duck Billed Platypus

Duck Billed Platypus
Lyrics by Tim Griffin
may be sung to the groove (more or less) of Bad Boys (the theme from Cops)

Duck-billed platypus, what ya gonna do?
Act like a mammal and a reptile too
You’re warm blooded and you got hair
But your lair got eggs in there!
Legs like a lizard that widely splay
Make it hard to run away
So you make venom for self-defense
Your biology makes no sense!
Duck-billed platypus, what ya gonna do?
Act like a mammal and a reptile too.

Duck-billed platypus, what ya gonna do?
Act like a mammal and a pisces too
You’re warm blooded but your temperature’s low
Keeps your metabolism slow
Down in the river you hunt your meal
Electrolocate like an eel
Bugs and slugs, your favorite dish
That’s why you’re so much like a fish!
Duck-billed platypus, what ya gonna do?
Act like a mammal and a pisces too.

Duck-billed platypus, what ya gonna do?
Act like a mammal and an avian too
You got a duck bill on your face
Lay your eggs in a nesting place
Some mammals say that you’re absurd
‘Cause you’re so much like a bird
Even your plumbing is really crude
You only got a cloaca, dude!
Duck-billed platypus, what ya gonna do?
Act like a mammal and an avian too.

Duck-billed platypus, what ya gonna do
When the taxonomists classify you?
As a mammal you barely pass
A vertebrate that got no class
You don’t do like all the rest
You’re the mammal beta test
Give zoologists bad dreams
But you’re the lord of the monotremes
Duck-billed platypus, what ya gonna do
When the taxonomists classify you?

(spoken as music fades) Sometimes taxonomy’ll fail ya…
Lucky he lives in Australia.